I and Love and You

And if I give you those three words,
Does it give you permission to go?
Because the last few pages have all been the same
I and Love and You
But maybe it changes when it ends with a different name
I and Love and You
A curse, or a sentiment
To me it’s a signature at the end of a lifetime
Of Saying three words ending in the same name
Every day


My favorite book is in an impossible read
It’s in code I have no cipher for,
Instead a stranger reads it more clearly than I.
The key may be time, But I feel as though I have none.
Reversing was never available to anyone.
So I read the same foreign words,
Page by page,
The story enchants me still.


I wish I could sleep.
Swallow, swallow, swallow;
Keep it down
And I live in dreams
Where things are what they were
Or better, I don’t know
It’s too hard to remember.

You asked if I was okay,
My answer is always the same.
“I am, I think.”
I’m walking, slowly,
almost at a crawl.
I wish I had the energy.
Swallow, swallow, swallow;
it should be easy to leave.
It should be easy to live and to eat.
I saw her grasping at everything
And now there’s nothing left
swallow, swallow, swallow


I threw out everything old
And held out for something
And somehow, someway
Found my way to you

I wish every day,
Stepping away and away,
That maybe you’ll find your way
To me too, but
You can’t find what you’re not looking for

Buried in a trash pile of my own making,
I still wish every day
For change, but for everything to be the same
In futility, I don’t know the worth anymore
In my home of my own making
Or the so-called path I paved
To find my way


It isn’t easy,
I always sing out of tune.
But the song in my heart
Is a strong one,
And it comes from healing
And allowing the waves to wash
O’er me and my song.
Not one knows me as well as I,
Some may know me better,
But I know what I need which is more
Of a slight whisper,
Of a siren’s song.
Because drowning is easy,
I’ll gladly choke on salt
And allow the water to fill my lungs,
so it will allow me to sing in tune again
With one’s siren song.

I could say Goodbye

I tried and I tried,
I had so many different words to say,
And I wished I could shout them at you every day.
I cry, or I did anyway,
Day after day, feeling as though I couldn’t make it until tomorrow.
And now it’s too late.
I grabbed and I scraped as you walked away,
begging for any bit of you to stay,
and then you were around in your absence
and I hated it every day.
Alas, you’re gone and there’s nothing more I can say.
Other than thank you for leaving then
So I could have today.

I think I could find it in me,
One last word, although I owe you nothing.
A simple sigh, the last thing I have to give from that time
I’ve cried enough for all their lifetimes.
But, still, I think.
I could say Goodbye.